Goals for the day

1. Stop fantasizing about Starbucks.
2. Mousse cat's fur into interesting swirly pattern. Take picture.
3. Drive through Atlanta, and beckon homeless people over with a promise of free crack. Give them little pieces of hardened baking soda.
4. Call 3 random numbers and ask for Bob. Tell whoever answers, after they say there is no one there by that name, that Bob needs to know the clinic called and urgently needs to speak to him. Act tearful if necessary. If anyone calls back via *69, act retarded.
5. Write an unsigned suicide note and leave it on a co-workers desk.
6. Call 3 random numbers and ask for Steve. When person who answers states no one is there by that name, tell them you know they are lying to cover up for Steve, and if he doesn't call in 30 minutes, he will be fired. If Steve is actually there, tell him if he meets you at the mall in 30 minutes, you won't tell his wife about "Tiffany". DO NOT ANSWER PHONE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.
7. Try on 10 different pairs of pants in front of husband, and ask each time "Do these pants make my ass look big?". Pretend to cry if the answer is yes.
8. Apply for jobs at 5 different stores. Use fake names, and under sex write "Indeterminate". Use random numbers picked from phone book as contact numbers. If there are any stupid questions, like "what are your goals" write a long thesis on views on abortion and religion. Ask for additional paper. Request the name of the regional manager if refused.
9. Go to the park and tease squirrels.
10. Leave annoying and insulting comments on blogs, under the name of anonymous, but sign comments with a real person's name. Preferably with the name of someone who is irritating.

Preparing for Dragon Con

One of my all time favorite past times is to gather together my costumes that I'm wearing to Dragon Con. I still have all the accoutrements from last year that will be revisited, and have added additional items. My best friend is sewing with her own two hands an officer's uniform that ought to be just awesome, and I've purchased boots to go with it. Additionally, I've bought a black gothic looking dress, and seamed hose to match.


And I've purchased the alcohol for the wicked drink my best friend makes every year. We spend the majority of the time walking around with a plastic glass in one hand, and a goofy grin on our face. Occasionally we offer gin soaked cherries to deserving strangers. The beautiful part of all that is no one is getting a DUI because we walk back to the hotel when we're ready, so there is no driving involved. And there is a Starbucks stand within a short stroll from where I'm staying. That's important, you know.

I'm like a kid at Christmas.

In other worlds, I've FINALLY finished my paper for school, and except for a minor glitch, it has been sent off. So I'm DONE!

I graduate from Boot Camp in two weeks, which also is the first day of Dragon Con. The minute they hand me my badge and shake my hand, I'm hitting the road to get my daughter and her friend, and we'll cram the Toyota with all our bags, and haul ass to the hotel. Pictures may follow.

Just call me killer

I killed someone in training.

Not really.

We learn all kinds of fun cop-like stuff in training, and one block of training this past week included arrest team. Which means a group of students go into the mock village at the training facility and pretend to arrest someone. We have people play acting, and they go out of their way to be a pain. We search the house for weapons, for the person, for any other stuff, and if things seem dangerous, we're told to use deadly force if necessary.

One time when I was the leader for my group, I saw my person under the bed. I told her to come out with her empty hands up, and she did, but then dived under the bed and came up with a gun in her hand, and I unloaded. What surprised me was I didn't even think about it, I just started shooting when I saw the gun. Apparently, I was the first one to shoot someone. And don't worry, the guns we use are old .38s with the firing pins removed. Everything is all safe.

All in all, it was stressful, but fun. I've arrested people before, but never had to go out to get someone, and never had to search houses.

Hurry!

25 days to DragonCon