Just another day in the life of a public servant

Yowza!

2008-03-22T22:06:00.005-04:00

Wow, haven't blogged in a little while.

Update: I still work like an ant dragging off a cheeto, still don't see friends or workout like I should. In fact, I've been a field training officer, and have been working even harder. Just this Friday, I finished IT (instructor training) school, which is HARD!!! I have to teach one last class while being evaluated, and I get my certification.

The oldest daughter has been deployed as of January, and is now in Khandahar, Afghanistan. I hear from her occasionally. For a while, I could talk to her on Yahoo messenger, but she recently disconnected her internet connection, so I just have to wait until she calls.

The youngest daughter has been accepted several different colleges, and is presently trying to decide if she wants to go to Univ. of Alabama or Univ. of Georgia. She's in the Honors program at UA, and is leaning toward that school.

Went to Dragon Con this year, and as usual, had a great time. I made a costume, Queen of the Cosmos, from a Japanese game, which was surprisingly popular. Lots of people took my picture-totally shocking to me. I had no idea Katamari was that well known. And as you can see from the pic above, the movie, "300" was a very popular theme this year.

Other than that, I can't think of much else interesting.

All work makes Jill a dull girl

2007-05-05T21:44:00.000-04:00

I've noticed this habit I've developed. It's called "Work your butt off until you're burnt out" syndrome. Since I've started my new job 15 months ago, I've done things I never thought I would do. Example: Work 14 hour days. If someone had told me I'd routinely work 9,10, 11 or even 12 hour days before I started, I would have laughed and told them, "no way". But week after week, I don't go home until after dark. And that includes in the summer time. Last Thursday, I started work at 8:30 AM and didn't get home until 1:30 AM. Most of the time, I don't really mind. But sometimes I get worn out with devoting this much time and effort into my career. I just hope it works out for me. I've noticed working this much, and devoting this much mental energy into my work isn't as fulfilling as it used to be. For one thing, my buddy George now works downtown at the Central office, and isn't around to pal around with much anymore. Another thing, I've noticed I push aside alot of things in my life for my work, which includes socializing with my old buddies. This has got to stop. And as I mentioned before, I don't work out much anymore, and I hate that. Again, I've got to stop. One of the reasons I worked so much last Thursday is because I went out in the field that day. I've got a plan: Get most of my field work done in the beginning of the month, so the rest of the month I can do other stuff. Maybe even leave at 4:30 occasionally so I can hit the gym once or twice a week.

Other than I'm tired, in need of a vacation, and miss working out, everything is going well. We were on our way to Mississippi (gambling weekend, free hotel!), and since we were driving right through Huntsville, we stopped in at Redstone Arsenal, where she's stationed. I saw her for about 15 minutes, but that made me happy. Naturally, I forgot my camera, so no pictures are available.

Fun, fun, fun in Missouri

2007-03-17T21:58:00.000-04:00

I just got back from a trip to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, to see my daughter graduate from bootcamp. Okay, she looks cute as hell in her green uniform. I have to admit it. It was mentally draining hanging out with the new son-in-law and her, due to the strained relationship with him, and my slightly hurt feelings. I didn't have but a few minutes to see her by myself. Not that he was preventing privacy, or anything like that, it's just that they were stuck on each other like glue. And if you ask her a question, he answers it for her. That got annoying very quickly.

Check out the dorky glasses. She hates them, of course, but they're army issue, so she's stuck with them for now.

Anyway, she's now at Fort Redstone, in Alabama, for her Advanced Individual training. Alabama is closer to home, so I hope to be able to see her more often. She called tonight and said she's in Phase 5, whatever that means, and she doesn't start the AIT until April.

On the bright side, I traveled into and through 3 states that I've never been to before (Kentucky, Illinois and Missouri), and on the way home my husband and I stopped in St. Louis to tour the Arch. We had to stop anyway to drop the son-in-law off at the airport, so we didn't get there until afternoon. The Arch was way cooler than it sounds. You can go to the top of it in these tiny little trams, sort of like the Pink Pig ride at Rich's. Just a side note, DO NOT pay to get on the tram if you suffer from claustrophobia, because the door to get into one of the little tram pods is 4 ft tall, and the inside requires adults to stoop when they sit. Very cramped. There are small windows in the tiny door, but it's close quarters for the two minutes it takes to ascend and descend. (I didn't take that Arch picture, because my stupid camera stopped working). The view was stupendous at 630 feet, overlooking downtown St. Louis and the Mississippi river.

After leaving St. Louis, we drove until we got tired, and after a brief argument, we agreed to stop overnight at Harrah's in Metropolis, Illinois (home of the 200 ft tall Superman), and gamble a little. I like gambling, but hate to lose money. Sort of a catch-22, I know. I only lost about $50. Overall, we had an entertaining mini-vacation. I would never have said "Hey, let's drive for 9 hours to St. Louis, just for kicks" to my husband, but sometimes, you just have to take what you got and have fun with it.

Did I mention I finally got my diploma?

2007-02-24T13:28:00.000-05:00

After 3 years, $12,000, and 3510 miles added to the speedometer on my car (acrued from driving back and forth to Columbus for classes), I've finally finished my Master degree. I completed the thesis portion on it last August, but because I was tardy getting my paper in, it didn't get graded until Fall semester. So I didn't graduate until December. Long story short, I finally got the diploma a few weeks ago. I immediately took it up to Michaels and had it framed, where it now sits proudly and expensively on the wall in my office. Happy day.

On the home front, I get letters weekly from the Army child. She says she doesn't like the Army, but she's sticking with it. She likes some of the aspects, such as obstacle courses and running around in the woods, but not the marching and the hard physical stuff. She sounds lonely. But the interesting thing is, I hear more from her now then when she was living in Florida with no constrainsts to communication. She graduates from Basic in about 3 weeks, then she'll be in individual training in Alabama, which is a lot closer to home than Missouri. That makes me glad.

Happenings

2007-02-09T13:34:00.000-05:00

Someone wrote me a comment recently, and I almost fell out. I had no idea anyone still read this blog.

So to answer your question...

My daughter did indeed join the Army, and is currently in basic training in Missouri. I get letters a couple of times a week describing life in hell, although she doesn't say that. She complains about the difficulty of army life and the physical work. She says she enjoys shooting her M-16, but the last letter described her fears that she wouldn't be able to qualify, and would have to be recycled. Her more overriding concern at the moment is her physical problems. She says that because her feet hurt so bad, she finally had to go to the medic, which meant she spent last weekend in the hospital. She is worried that this might mean she will be recycled. I don't think the Army is what she expected. But it's like kids: No one can tell you what it's really like, you just have to experience it for yourself.

My other daughter had surgery on her jaw the day before the older girl shipped out, but she is recovering. She had to have her jaw realigned, which required an overnight stay in the hospital. She is getting better, but it still hurts, and she still can't eat normally. This is a problem for her, since she's a skinny as a stick insect anyway.

How do I feel about all this? Better. I don't cry every day, which is what I was doing for about 3 weeks before daughter number one shipped out and daughter number two had her surgery. I was out of work for almost two weeks because of all the home issues, which put me behind. Which is stressful.

Now I'm hoping the oldest daughter sticks with her decision to join the military, and doesn't quit when the going gets tough, which she often does. I hope the trials she is enduring makes her a better person. I try not to think about how much I miss her, although sometimes her letters hit a spot in me that brings tears to my eyes.

The youngest girl is a great person. I'm thankful and grateful she is in my life, and do what I can for her, while she is still home. She's working hard on her college plans, so I've only got her with me for another year and a half. So I'd better make the most of it while I still have time.

What to post

2006-12-27T17:02:00.000-05:00

I can't decide whether to post something light and semi-amusing, or serious.

I suppose I'll start with posting-the lite version.

First: I'm convinced there is a conspiracy surrounding me. Specifically, people getting in my way.

I'm not known as a patient person, or at least so I'm told. That being said, I can't help but notice when I drive, it seems that people DELIBERATELY get in my way, just to impede my speedy progress. I'm sure it's deliberate, and I'll tell you why. I'll be happily cruising through a parking lot, when some dork will A: Stop in front of me while pondering the witty comment their passenger just uttered or B: Walk in front of my car, possibly stopping to check the time, their cell phone, the contents of a package, etc, then will look around in mild surprise when they notice a car behind them, as if the presence of a car in a parking lot were something unusual. Meanwhile, I'm surpressing screams of frustration and really scalding expletives, and doing so badly.

Another example is shopping. I'm walking quickly through the mall, spying a destination, and just as I step, say to the left to move around other slower people, these same people make a move to the left. So I'll feint to the right to move around these inconsiderate jerks, and they will purposely shift to the right. And very often right in the middle of the aisle, which prevents ANYONE, particularly me, from getting around them. Then, just like in the parking lot, they'll look around, totally surprised that someone is breathing down their necks and trying to get around them.

Or just plain driving. I'm convinced people drive slow just to annoy and irritate me. How they know it's me, I don't know. But it surely can't just be coincidence. Surely people pulling right in front of me, when I'm driving 80 in the fast lane, and then slowing down to 55 (55!!!) can't be anything but deliberate maliciousness. Did you ever see those commercials from a few years ago, where the character had his own lanes on the freeway and parking spaces? I fantasize about my own special lanes down I-75.

Okay, there is no Second. Really, my gripe of the day is people getting in my way.

Now, the serious stuff.

I have no idea who reads this anymore, but those who know me, probably know my oldest daughter ran off last June and was living with her boyfriend who is 10 years older and disabled. She was living in Florida with him, then went to Ohio to work at a festival. She was living in a hut which had no indoor plumbing and plywood floors. I had her signed up for college, but that's gone, as is the deposits.

I hadn't seen her since June 20th, until last week, when she came home to get her stuff. Right before she came, I figured out she got married. Yes, married at 18. And didn't tell me or invite me to the wedding. She said they jumped the broomstick at the local town hall, but marriage is marriage, and I'm hurt of course. Right before she left, she told me she joined the Army recently, again, didn't tell me, and is shipping out Jan. 3rd.

What more is there to say, but I've gotten to the point where I'm just bewildered.

I'm not getting into the pain and grief this has caused me and the rest of her family, because I'm getting worn out with all of this. But it's hard to deal with.

Doin' what I always do

2006-09-18T17:57:00.000-04:00

That would be procrastinate.

I'm supposed to take a test for a sort of promotion tomorrow, which will result in a pay raise of $3000. So what am I doing instead? Blogging. Makes no sense.

So in order to justify my decision to waste time, I'll make this a short entry.

While perusing Miss Kendra's website, I stumbled on this blog It's about some guy who approaches total strangers and asks if he can take a picture of them touching his belly. It's just too interesting. Check out the guy's expression. Most of the time, it's a study in boredom.

Okay, back to studying.

Goals for the day

2006-08-26T21:02:00.000-04:00

1. Stop fantasizing about Starbucks.
2. Mousse cat's fur into interesting swirly pattern. Take picture.
3. Drive through Atlanta, and beckon homeless people over with a promise of free crack. Give them little pieces of hardened baking soda.
4. Call 3 random numbers and ask for Bob. Tell whoever answers, after they say there is no one there by that name, that Bob needs to know the clinic called and urgently needs to speak to him. Act tearful if necessary. If anyone calls back via *69, act retarded.
5. Write an unsigned suicide note and leave it on a co-workers desk.
6. Call 3 random numbers and ask for Steve. When person who answers states no one is there by that name, tell them you know they are lying to cover up for Steve, and if he doesn't call in 30 minutes, he will be fired. If Steve is actually there, tell him if he meets you at the mall in 30 minutes, you won't tell his wife about "Tiffany". DO NOT ANSWER PHONE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.
7. Try on 10 different pairs of pants in front of husband, and ask each time "Do these pants make my ass look big?". Pretend to cry if the answer is yes.
8. Apply for jobs at 5 different stores. Use fake names, and under sex write "Indeterminate". Use random numbers picked from phone book as contact numbers. If there are any stupid questions, like "what are your goals" write a long thesis on views on abortion and religion. Ask for additional paper. Request the name of the regional manager if refused.
9. Go to the park and tease squirrels.
10. Leave annoying and insulting comments on blogs, under the name of anonymous, but sign comments with a real person's name. Preferably with the name of someone who is irritating.

Preparing for Dragon Con

2006-08-20T11:56:00.000-04:00

One of my all time favorite past times is to gather together my costumes that I'm wearing to Dragon Con. I still have all the accoutrements from last year that will be revisited, and have added additional items. My best friend is sewing with her own two hands an officer's uniform that ought to be just awesome, and I've purchased boots to go with it. Additionally, I've bought a black gothic looking dress, and seamed hose to match.

And I've purchased the alcohol for the wicked drink my best friend makes every year. We spend the majority of the time walking around with a plastic glass in one hand, and a goofy grin on our face. Occasionally we offer gin soaked cherries to deserving strangers. The beautiful part of all that is no one is getting a DUI because we walk back to the hotel when we're ready, so there is no driving involved. And there is a Starbucks stand within a short stroll from where I'm staying. That's important, you know.

I'm like a kid at Christmas.

In other worlds, I've FINALLY finished my paper for school, and except for a minor glitch, it has been sent off. So I'm DONE!

I graduate from Boot Camp in two weeks, which also is the first day of Dragon Con. The minute they hand me my badge and shake my hand, I'm hitting the road to get my daughter and her friend, and we'll cram the Toyota with all our bags, and haul ass to the hotel. Pictures may follow.

Just call me killer

2006-08-12T22:00:00.000-04:00

I killed someone in training.

Not really.

We learn all kinds of fun cop-like stuff in training, and one block of training this past week included arrest team. Which means a group of students go into the mock village at the training facility and pretend to arrest someone. We have people play acting, and they go out of their way to be a pain. We search the house for weapons, for the person, for any other stuff, and if things seem dangerous, we're told to use deadly force if necessary.

One time when I was the leader for my group, I saw my person under the bed. I told her to come out with her empty hands up, and she did, but then dived under the bed and came up with a gun in her hand, and I unloaded. What surprised me was I didn't even think about it, I just started shooting when I saw the gun. Apparently, I was the first one to shoot someone. And don't worry, the guns we use are old .38s with the firing pins removed. Everything is all safe.

All in all, it was stressful, but fun. I've arrested people before, but never had to go out to get someone, and never had to search houses.

Hurry!

2006-08-06T15:35:00.000-04:00

25 days to DragonCon

Solving Spyware Problems

2006-07-22T12:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I broke down and bought the upgraded version of Norton Internet Security, which includes a firewall and intrusion prevention. Much as I hated to spend that extra 10 bucks, I figured, what the hell, it might actually work.

Seriously, how retarded I've been. I should have bought this last year when I upgraded and saved myself all kinds of grief. The spyware invasions have dropped dramatically. I mean, 10 dollars is just the price of 2 White Chocolate Mochas from Starbucks. Surely I could do without my Starbucks fix two times. Maybe.

Speaking of White Chocolate Mochas, if you go to the Starbucks website you can look up calorie and nutrition information on any drink. The white cholcolate mochas (hereafter referred to as WCM) are 340 calories without whipped cream and with skim milk, and 540 with whole and with whipped cream, 220 of those calories from fat, and 24 total grams of fat. Pretty horrifying, right? I've switched to nonfat Vanilla Lattes, which have 230 calories. What I really love are the Cinnamon Dolce Lattes, which are 240 calories, when ordered non-fat. However, this is a seasonal drink, so I've got to wait until November before I can switch to them.

I really need to find a better method to indulge my coffee obsession that isn't so high in calories. Or at least cut back from 4 times a week to something more reasonable. I'm not knocking Starbucks, though. My life was meaningless before I discovered the thrill of WCM. Another cool component of the Starbucks website is the store locators. I can find a store anywhere!

On the basic training front, all is well. I passed firearms, and the 3 times a week 6:00 AM workouts are doing amazing things for my abs. My goal at this point is to drop my body fat from 26% to 20-21%. I hope that doesn't include losing 10 pounds. However, the nearest Starbucks is a 20 minute drive away, which is a pretty effective way to prevent me from indulging my coffee addiction while I'm in training.

And last thing, Dragon Con is a mere 40 days away!

Off to training I go

2006-07-08T23:55:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I have to report for the my basic training. I jokingly call it "Officer boot camp", and I'll be there for 8 weeks. And to make it more stresful, Friday is make it or break it day. In other words, if I don't qualify with my Glock, they let me go. As in good bye, no more job, don't let the door hit you on the way out. A little scary. My class went to pre-basic last week for 3 days for gun training, and one day I shot okay, the next day I sucked, and the last day I was scoring pretty high. Provided I don't panic and start doing stupid stuff, I'll be fine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Update on the spyware issue: Spyware keeps insinuating itself on my hard drive, requiring me to run removal tools constantly. Sneaky little shits.

The picture above is not me, but after 8 weeks of thrice weekly mandatory workouts, I might look like that. Maybe.

People who invent spyware are the devil's spawn

2006-05-28T14:24:00.000-04:00

And I stand by that statement.

My computer runs as slow as my daughter on a Sunday morning. Sluggish and moody is a description that comes to mind.

I keep updating my virus definitions and removing all threats detected. I've removed Ezula I don't know how many times, but I know that I've still got spyware on my computer and it's pissing me off.

Finally, I had a brilliant idea that didn't involve wiping my hard drive clean and starting over.

I went to the Symantec website and navigated over to the spyware removal tool page, symantec.com, and started running each removal tool in alphabetical order. Although I started from Z and worked my way up to the beginning, just to be different (I'm one of those people who read magazines from the back to front. I'm sure that means something). And, not surprisingly, several of the tools found spyware and removed it for me.

I swear, if I ever run across a punk who admits to designing and launching spyware, I'm going to hang him/her up by their genitals or toes (if it's a girl) in the public square, smeared with honey and dog food, and leave them there with a large sign proclaiming that they are the scum of the earth.

And I won't cut them down when they cry like a little girl.

The Angel of Death or What the Hell????

2006-05-28T13:56:00.000-04:00

Yet another death had occurred. This is the third person in about 5 months who has died, and I'm starting to think that the angel of death is stalking me.

The death to which I refer is a friend who suddenly developed melanoma and died in about a 7 week period. I wasn't able to say goodbye in person, but I had spoken with her about 3 weeks before she became sick, so I don't have that feeling of overwhelming guilt and regret that I had when another friend died last December. Thank goodness.

What was weird is that I had a dream the day after she died that I went to the funeral and spoke to her while she was dead. As freaky as the dream was, it was also comforting, because I was upset that I couldn't speak to her, and the dream somehow made me feel that I was able to say goodbye like I wanted.

Now the what-the-hell part that I mentioned in the title refers to what happened when I went to the funeral home. I visited with the family, and when I left I ran into her husband. He hugged me goodbye, and while he was hugging me, (which was odd in itself, because we aren't really friends) he ran his hand down my back and fully over my ass. And it wasn't an accidental brush against my hip. It was over the full part. I mean, shit! Who does that kind of thing when their dead wife is in the next room? Eeyuugh.

How I spent my state holiday

2006-04-24T21:30:00.000-04:00

I work for the state which still gives their employees cool holidays, such as today, "Confederate Veterans Memorial Day". Can't beat THAT with a stick.

I played 18 holes today on my day off. Let me tell you, golf is fun. Period.

Of course, I was the worst player. I hit my chief in the ankle with a wayward ball and I hope he forgets about it by my next employee evaluation. Later, I hit into another fairway while a guy was trying to putt, and my ball rolled gently over his shoe. He looked down at his shoe like the golfball fairy had delivered it to him special. I just waved, mouthed "I'm sorry", and flipped my ponytail at him. At least I didn't bruise him, unlike my boss, who was sporting a nice little ankle lump.

Death and existentialism

2006-04-16T00:00:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling a lot less despondent. My uncle did die, and it was sad. Made for a long week. But when I went to the funeral, I was listening to the sermon, and I got to thinking about the differences between religions, and what I would like said at my funeral should I shuffle my mortal coil.

I hope people get up at the front and say "She was a good person (I hope I am), and she loved her family. She'll be missed". What else is there to say? You're born, you exist on this plane for a while, you try to better yourself, and be a good person, help others, you create relationships, love others and be loved, attempt to achieve self-transcendence and self actualization, then you slip out of your body and...and I don't know after that. Maybe existence is as the Hindus believe, and you spend each life striving to live a good life in the hope and expectation that if you live the best you can, you'll move up in your next life to a better existence. I kind of like that idea.

But on the other hand, maybe existence is all about having really nice shoes. In which case, I need to go shopping.

2006-04-10T05:58:00.000-04:00

I'm sick to death of dealing with stress. I've worried too much about my daughter, about money, about friends who ditch me, about my father-in-law. The latest drama is one my uncles who will probably die this week.

I think I'll join a nunnery. Except I'd have to give up sex, so maybe not. I'll just change identities and run away. That's the ticket.

Why, oh why aren't my clubs here yet?

2006-03-30T20:12:00.000-05:00

I had this wish today. That I'd come home from work and my Ebay purchased golf clubs would be sitting on my doorstep. But they aren't. Rats.

Well, tomorrow is another day.

If I only knew how to play golf

2006-03-26T20:35:00.000-05:00

I recently went out with some of the guys at my office and played a little golf during lunch one day. It was so fun, that I decided to get a set of clubs for myself, in the hopes the guys would invite me to play with them.

Remember the wedding glasses I sold on Ebay? Well, I took some of that money that I made from selling them and bought a set of clubs. Sweet.

Isn't that the coolest looking putter? I don't know if it's a good one, but it looks neat, and that what really matters, right?

A slice in my day

2006-03-17T08:18:00.000-05:00

Since I've started with my new agency I've been busy. In fact, busy is minimizing how overwhelmed I've been. Hence the dearth of postings for the past 6 weeks, but I'm here now to rectify that situation.

Three of the new officers are off to basic training, and their people had to be reassigned, and guess who got most of their cases? Yep, me. So I've been running myself crazy, and getting nowhere.

But all that changed as of Tuesday. My new FTO looked over my caseload and was horrified at what was going on. The next morning there were several changes made, and all my co-workers came by offering help. They're a great bunch of people.

But on Wednesday I look out of my window (yes, for some reason the new person got an office with a window), and who do I see getting out of the car? The regional director. Who came in my office and asked, in a nutshell, what was going on with me. The end result of that conversation was a further reduction of my caseload and responsibilities, and an order to have all my office supplies on my desk by the next day. I tell you what, when the brass shows up, shit gets done. But what got me, was his concern about me. I was trying my best not to get anyone in trouble, so I was minimizing how bad the situation was, but he obviously knew something was up, and although I doubt I was the sole reason for his unexpected drop by, I'd bet the farm that I was on the agenda for the day.

See, as I've said before, whole new job, whole new agency, whole new attitude. In fact, this lovely Friday morning, I'm sitting here blogging instead of sitting at my desk because I've already worked 38 1/2 hours this week, and don't have to go in until noon. Fabulous.

Don't get me wrong, though. All state agencies have problems, mostly stemming from red tape and lack of funds. But this agency has a different philosophy than my last one, and so far, I'm happy. I even like the late hours, and I really like going out in the field. I'll just be glad when I get all my gear after basic training and I can do all of my own work instead of asking for help.

One of the other problems (one of many, believe me) that I'm trying to come to terms with, is the fact that I'm sure I won't be able to graduate in May with my class. I just don't think there is any way to get my paper done in time. Sigh.

new job, new life, new attitude?

2006-02-01T17:41:00.000-05:00

Started my new job today, and I think I'm going to like it. I don't have a caseload yet, so all I'm doing is hanging out with a more experienced officer. But we went out in the field twice and that was interesting. Knocking on doors and hoping I don't get shot by drug dealers. (not being sarcarstic here) My coworkers are nice AND humorous, and that's a good combination. The job satisfaction scale is leaning towards "good" so far.

Word for the day: Intemperate

2006-01-24T22:53:00.000-05:00

Count down to new job and new chapter in life: 7 days.

Count down to next birthday: 365 days

Changes

2006-01-10T16:31:00.000-05:00

Where to start?

Today was my last day of school. I've officially finished all the classwork requirements, and now have the task of the paper. Le sigh, as BOBI says. This finalization of a chapter in my life is bittersweet. I'm relieved that this task is nearing completion, but sad because I'll miss my friends. Well, life is full of changes.

The 2nd change is with my job. As of Feb. 1st, I'll be working for a different agency. Again, bittersweet. I'm glad to be changing, but will, again, miss my friends. I've put in 8 years with this agency, and kinda hate to leave. However, on the plus side, I'm back in the county where I started, so I'll be able to see all of my old friends on a more regular basis. And I'm excited about what I'll be doing. It's still law enforcement, but more hands on. And the agency has a good reputation. I spoke with a friend from the old office today and told him that I was leaving. He congratulated me, and then said "I wish I knew what could be done about employee retention. All the best people leave here to work for your new agency." A nice compliment, I thought. He also made the point that if my department had paid for school for me, I would still be working there. True enough. I'm grateful they allowed me to go, though, so I'm not complaining.

The picture here has nothing to do with changing jobs or finishing school. It's just a nice picture either my daughter or I took while in Savannah a few weeks ago.

Getting in shape

2005-12-27T19:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, I've GOT to start going to the gym at least twice a week. I just can't stand it anymore. Not that I'm gaining weight, it's just that I can't stand the feel of flab at my waist.

The picture you see is not me, of course, but that's the look I'm going for. I'm sure that with hours and hours on the thigh master and possibly a little plastic surgery, that I can achieve the same look.

Amazing, selling stuff on Ebay

2005-12-14T22:22:00.000-05:00

So far, I've sold 9 glasses, and 7 Neopets on Ebay. I'm just amazed at how much this stuff is worth. The Neopets aggregately brought in about $150.00. And get this; that blue one sold for $37.00! Stunning. I wish I had more to sell. As fab as this selling business is, I don't get to keep the profits from the stuffed animals. Since they belong to my daughter, I'm letting her keep the money, less what I spent on shipping. She's thrilled, and is now looking around her closet for more collectable items.

What's interesting, is I tried to sell other items, such as old National Geographics and a dress, and had no luck. Apparently, there is a market for old crystal and Neopets.

I wonder how much money I could get for selling everything in the house? It's like a world-wide yardsell, except you have to ship the items, instead of people nosing around your basement and driving off with their purchases. I keep looking at the cat and catch myself wondering if I could get anything for her. Description as follows: 1 used cat, not very friendly, but very fluffy. Hangs like bones are missing when picked up. Very complacent. Would make a wonderful pet for a socially inept person.

Monday in the rain

2005-12-04T22:26:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I get to drive to my old office and attempt to requalify. In other words, since the the weather prediction for tomorrow is cold and rainy, I expect to shoot in the rain. Dang.

And then, if I get out of training/shooting/sneezing in the rain before noon, I'm going to my friend's funeral.

Maybe I should hide a bottle of Jack Daniels in my gun bag to help me get through what is likely to be an unpleasant day? Nah, maybe I'll just go to bed. Not as much fun, though.

Sad

2005-12-03T22:01:00.000-05:00

A friend called while I was shopping yesterday and told me that a mutual friend had died that day. I started blubbering like a little girl, right in the middle of the store.

I bring this up because I've said before, don't wait until it's too late to do something important, like telling someone you love them, etc. Yet that's what I did. I hadn't called my friend in over a year, and I'm kicking myself because I wish I'd spoken to him. I kept thinking, I need to call, but then I would get busy, and I'd put it off.

I miss him.

Boring

2005-12-01T19:23:00.000-05:00

I write the most boring posts. Any ideas on how to spice up my postings? Other than naked pictures, of course.

Post thanksgiving shopping

2005-11-25T23:40:00.000-05:00

Today I did something that I've never done before. I dragged myself out of bed at 5:15 AM and joined all those other crazy people at Target for some holiday shopping.

Anyone who knows me, knows I dislike (and that's a mild way of phrasing it) getting up in the morning. But yesterday, I looked over all the sales flyers and saw a digital camera for $89, and an iPod for $199 at Target. There was also a laptop for $200 at another store. That store opened at 5:00 AM, and that's just ridiculous to even imagine I'd get up at 4:15. But I discussed the whole "get up at the crack of dawn" scenario with the kids and they were supportive. The youngest even promised to have coffee ready for me. So we made a pact and everyone went to bed semi-early.

At 5:00 AM daughter number 2 comes in my room with a bewildered and protesting cat, which she shoves in my face, this being her favorite method of waking people up. Oh my God. I had no idea it was that dark that early. And cold. But I got up, dressed and off we went on the adventure of a lifetime.

And when we got to the store, 5 after 6:00, it wasn't that bad. A few people had already made their purchases and were already leaving, but there were plenty of iPods and cameras left. So we got them and a new stainless steel coffepot for me, and some other gifts for various other people. And ya know, it wasn't that bad. I'm happy that I got a good deal on some nice stuff. Didn't get the computer though. We went to the other store and of course by 7:30 they were already sold out. In fact, there were a bunch of grumpy looking people standing in a looooonnnngggg line, complaining that they had been in that same line since 5:00 AM and the store only had 15 of those laptops anyway. Glad I missed out on that line, I must say. Even if it would have been too cool to have a laptop.

So my new plan for next year is get out of bed and hit the stores, getting presents at spectacular savings. Oh, what a deal.

Just another day in the life of an Ebay entrepreneur

2005-11-23T17:51:00.000-05:00

Yippee! My beanie babies sold. Now here is the funny part: I sold them for $8.00 plus $4.00 shipping. Guess how much shipping and packaging cost? $9.00. So less that plus whatever ebay charges for the listing, I'm figuring I made roughly $1.50. Hmmm.

Ahh, that's okay. This was an experiment anyway to see if it was worth the effort to sell the beanie babies on Ebay, and I think I've figured out the answer. If I want to try again, I'm going to have to charge more for shipping, and I can't imagine who would pay that much for the privilege of owning beanie babies. Who knows, though?

On the plus side, I've had two bids on the crystal and there are still 2 days left on the auction. And I've got 10 more glasses that I can still put up for sell. So my chance of upward advancement to the rank of Ebay wizard have increased tremendously.

The wonderful world of Ebay

2005-11-21T22:59:00.000-05:00

I've decided that I have so much stuff in my house that I don't want, don't need and can't even remember where it came from, that I need to get rid of some of it. I've got so much STUFF that I'm starting to worry that maybe my inability to clean up might mean I'm OCD. Gak.

Really, I'm not OCD, just lazy, I think. Too bad there's not medication that will get you out from in front of the computer.

After digging around in the closet and looking around, I had an epiphany. Why not try selling it on Ebay? So I put up some work pants that I can't wear because they're too big and a piece of my wedding crystal. Here's to entrepreneurship.

So far once person had bid on the crystal. If it sells well, I'll sell the rest of the pieces. Wish me luck.

Now of course, the question is "Why would I want to sell wedding crystal?" Is it some ominous bodings of distubances in my marital life? Nah. I've simply upgraded my crystal, and I don't really like the old stuff. Too girly. So out with the old, in with the new, is my new motto.

Something very nice my daughter created

2005-11-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

Well, she didn't acutally create it, so much as copied a drawing from a book. Still, I love it and will frame it as soon as I can.

This is copied from the "Tao Te Ching" supposedly by Lao Tzu, which is "a small collection of epigrammatic reflections on the nature, origin and purpose of human life". Tao Te Ching literally means "the way of life".

More art!

2005-10-17T18:46:00.000-04:00

Here is another watercolor I did.

Art

2005-10-15T17:38:00.000-04:00

Here is a portion of a watercolor I did using watercolor pencils.

I'm so close to the end

2005-10-15T17:17:00.000-04:00

I'm in school and last friday was my last official day of class. I still have a research paper to write and a comprehensive final exam, but that stuff isn't until January.

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I've almost completed an onerous task that cost a lot of money, caused a lot of stress on several different levels, and took me away from home a lot. On the other hand, I finally got to the point where I enjoyed going away to school, I've made some friends that I will miss a lot, I'm thrilled and proud that I'm going to have a Masters degree, which I've wanted for a long time, and I actually enjoy learning. So today I'm sitting around the house feeling a little lost and sort of let down. Clearly I need to get off my butt and think up some other major task that will take up lots of time and energy. Maybe I should start studying for the LSAT again? That is certainly a colossal chore that would occupy plenty of time. Grrr.

A new addition

2005-10-02T20:33:00.000-04:00

My daughter is evil and manipulative (not really). She came home from school Friday bearing a cute little kitten with a sad story. It seems that a friend of the other daughter came home from school and heard a strange sound. After investigating, she found this little kitten wedged in between some boxes in her garage. She told my daughter, who came up with this clever idea to bring this kitten home, on the pretext that they just stopped by the house on the way to the animal shelter. Whatever. They know I'm a sucker for a pitiful story involving cats.

Those little colluders. They know I can't stand to hear about little abused kitties. So now I've got this tiny little demon cat on my lap, who is wrapping her tiny little unfed paws around my soul and sucking out my will to resist her cuteness. Totally unfair.

Anybody want a kitten?

Ode to superiority

2005-09-24T00:46:00.000-04:00

My cat cracks me up. This is how she likes to spend her time when I'm messing around on the computer. On top of the bookcase. Does she sit in my lap like a normal ragdoll cat? Nope. She just has to be different. So she climbs on top of the six foot bookcase and stares down at me. I need to get her a little kitty crown so she can be Princess Maggie. She'd probably like that.

I'm a nerd

2005-09-23T23:47:00.000-04:00

After going to Fritz's blog, I took the Are you a nerd, geek or dork quiz. Here are my results: You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

78 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 34% Dork

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Congratulations!

Now, I always figured that I was a nerd, so was hardly surprised when I tested out as a nerd but was surprised that I scored as a modern, cool nerd. Cool? Me? When did that happen?

Well, I guess I'm a nerd officially, now, and damn proud of it.

If you'd like to take the test, here is the linkThanks, fellow bloggers.

The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test

Dragon Con

2005-09-05T20:48:00.000-04:00

Okay. I haven't posted in forever because I've been in school and went from there directly to Dragon Con. I haven't downloaded all my pictures yet, but I'll try to get to it soon.

And a very good Trinity.

Now this one. Look to see if there is anything unusual about her. Perhaps her outfit is painted on?

Nny! and Lenore

2005-08-25T18:48:00.000-04:00

Recently, my daughter forced me to get off the computer to pay attention to her. (She's so demanding. Every other day it always "Feed me, feed me, I'm hungry"). And what she forced me to do with her was read some frighteningly interesting comics called Johnny the Homocidal Maniac and Lenore.

These comics are soooo hideous and sooo funny. If you read them, be sure to read the small print. That's some of the funniest stuff.

And you know, it makes me wonder why I find them so funny. Is it the sick humor? The twisted jokes? Probably.

Poor Squee. You know that there is now amount of therapy that will ever make him a normal kid.

Questions for Fritz and Danius Maximus

2005-08-25T18:14:00.000-04:00

Okay here goes.

Fritz, your questions are:

1. What is your favorite movie and why?

2. If you were given the choice of the blue pill or the red pill, as in the Matrix, which would you take? Blissful ignorance or harsh reality?

3. Do you believe that you are real, and if so, how would you prove it?

4. If you could go back in time to correct a mistake, would you and what mistake would you correct?

5. If you wrote a book, to whom would you dedicate it?

Danius Maximus, your questions are:

1. Would you ever get a piercing in a sensitive place?

2. Are you a cat or dog kind of person?

3. If you could travel back in time, would you want to meet yourself?

4. If you could change your sex, would you?

5. If you were King for the day, how would you spend your day?

Some gratuitous ass pictures, or some pictures from Dragon Con 2004

2005-08-19T18:07:00.000-04:00

Dragon Con is a mere 13 days away.

I love Edvard Munch

2005-08-18T20:59:00.000-04:00

I've been told that if I'd stop listening to dark and depressing music I might be less depressed. What? Is there supposed to be some correlation between what you listen to and your frame of mind?

Well, maybe.

But I happen to like like dark things. I love to wear black, watch dark movies, and listen to moody music. Can't help it.

And while I'm on the subject of depression, do you think Edvard Munch could have benefited from some SSRI Anti-Depressants? I think so. But if he had been properly medicated with Paxil, I doubt he would have created such wonderful paintings. Probably he would have gone for cheerful sunflowers and sappy meadow landscapes, and then the world would never have been exposed to one of the more famous depictions of all-out anxiety: "The Scream", or otherwise known as "The Cry".

Let me quote from a web site dedicated to Munch: Norwegian painter and printmaker whose intense, evocative treatment of psychological and emotional themes was a major influence on the development of German Expressionism in the early 20th century. His painting The Cry (1893) is regarded as an icon of existential anguish. That just about says it all, if you ask me.

I just love this genre of painting. What kind of a mind came up with this material? I'll bet he wasn't very popular as a child. I'll even hazard a guess that his parents stood outside his closed bedroom door constantly yelling "Hey! You've been locked in your room for hours! What are you doing in there?". I'll bet he wore a lot of black, too.

Preparing my Dragon Con outfit

2005-08-14T13:02:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited. I feel like it's the 3rd week of December and Christmas is just around the corner. Why am I excited? Well, actually, a lot of things are exciting me recently, but in particular, the date for the opening of Dragon Con is looming in the near future. And I'm working one of the fun preliminary tasks: Shopping for an outfit.

Normally, I forget to plan for an outfit until I'm packing, and then I have to resort to grabbing stuff from my daughter's closet and trying to co-ordinate fishnets with T-shirts. But this year, I thought ahead and bought something from Ebay. Ha! High functioning ADD, my ass! I do not need Ritalin, thank you very much!

So far, everything seems to be coming together. I've pulled together an acceptable outfit; not too slutty, yet with just the right mix of Goth/Dom. Really, I'm pleased. Now if I just had the right pair of shoes....

If you've never been to Dragon Con, and you're into Science Fiction/Comics/basic nerdy stuff, this is the convention for you. People dress up as their favorite characters, take a lot of pictures and basically have a good time. There are some absolutely amazing costumes and at night there are some great concerts.

However, when the sun goes down is when the fun really begins and the truly brazen people come out. All inhibitions are tossed to the wind and people start following that old motto "Less is better". Which makes for a really interesting evening. So I'll see you there, and don't forget to bring your camera.

What I did at work Friday

2005-08-13T16:26:00.000-04:00

Have you ever done something that's so boneheaded that you don't want to admit to anyone, not even your closest friends, what you did? Well, I did one of those things Friday at work.

I was sitting at my desk, staring intently at my computer screen and, realizing that my eyes were dry, I reached into my purse for my little bottle of eye drops. Without looking at it, I squirted a couple of drops in my right eye and immediately, my eye starting burning as if I had dropped muriatic acid in it. Yow. I glanced down at the bottle, thinking that maybe it was an old bottle and had gone bad. But what I had just squirted into my eye was anti-fungal drops for nail infections that I had put in my purse. And it was the exact same size and dimensions as the eye drop bottle.

With my eyes burning, no, excuse me, my EYE burning, my nose running in sympathy and without actually being able to see anything because I was practically blind, I groped around until I found my saline solution and rinsed my eye out the best I could without actual vision.

To make a long story short, I ended up having to drive home with only one contact in, and all night, every time I woke up, my eye was crusted over and was red, puffy, swollen and hurt.

I finally confessed to one of my best friends what I had done, and since she is notorious for doing silly things, she understood. Well, at least she said she did after she got her breath back from laughing so hard. And that traitor. After confessing my total embarrassment at the whole sordid incident, she informed me that she was going to call my supervisor and leave him a voice mail so he could tease me about it for the rest of my life. Nice. Last time I ever feed her cats for her, Benedict Arnold.

So it could have been worse. I could have actually dropped acid in my eye and would have had to go shopping for a seeing eye dog, but fortunately, it was merely a caustic anti-fungal solution. On the up side, I've managed to banish any stray fungas that might have found a home in my right eye and I don't appear to be blind. Yet.

Top 10 list

2005-08-08T21:39:00.000-04:00

Top 10 things I want to do before I die:
10: Answer the question once and for all: What exactly was Mona Lisa thinking?
9: Grow the perfect head of hair
8:Read Anna Karenina
7: Create a ski slope in my backyard, including tow rope.
6: Learn to ski
5:Lose 100 lbs
4: Buy the most expensive pair of shoes in the world.
3: Answer the question: If you put a hundred monkeys in a room with 100 typewriters and allowed them to write away, will they eventually write A Tale of Two Cities?
2: Own all 356 episodes of the Simpsons, including this year's unreleased 17th season.
1: Marry the richest man in the world...and survive him.

What's the deal with the cutesy smiley face cursor?

2005-08-08T20:57:00.000-04:00

Well, it's not that I'm all that girly. But since a blog is supposed to represent yourself in some way, I wanted to add images that represent me, ergo the smiley face. Why does this represent me? Because I have a small tattoo of a smiley face.

I love my tattoo. Not that I'm all that keen to get another. Frankly, it hurt. And hurt I don't like. But I love what I have. If only I were brave enough to succumb to the needle again!

manolo blahniks

2005-08-05T23:39:00.000-04:00

Tell me the truth: Am I insane for buying a pair of Manolo Blahniks? I think so, sometimes, but as Carrie says in Sex in the City, a woman has a right to shoes. Everyone at work thinks I'm nuts. They look at me askance and shake their heads, but I think secretly wish they could wear a pair of 4 inch stilletto heels. This is goofy, but sometimes I put on a leather mini skirt and the shoes and just wear them both around the house.

Now, my footwear obsession started when my best friend came into town for a visit and she forced me to get a pedicure. Then she forced me to go to Neiman Marcus to look at shoes. They were on sale. Really. I tried on a beautiful pair of Prada stillettos, which I considered. Then I saw THE PAIR. A pair of shiny, black patent leather Mary Jane's. Made by Kate Spade. Somehow, somehow, they would be mine.

Actually, making them mine was very easily accomplished. I just signed up for a Neiman Marcus credit card, and voilà, the Kate Spades were placed in a pretty Neiman Marcus bag and taken home, to fondle and wear whenever I chose. Ahh, almost better than sex.

This pair was satisfying, for a while. I loved strolling around in my beautiful shoes, in the knowledge that they cost more than most people make in a day.

But then, one day, I went to Neiman Marcus, innocently enough, just to shop for umm, well, stuff. And, oh, no. The shoes were on sale. And then, I noticed a pair of Yves St. Laurent orange sandels. And I NEED a pair of sandals. Orange. To match this really killer summer dress that I bought to wear out for special occasions. So really, it's something I need, not just want. So I whipped out the old trusty card and next thing I know, I'm the proud owner of two pair of outrageously priced designer shoes.

So a few months later, I've paid off my card, and with the happy knowledge that I have a zero balance, I find some plausible excuse to go shopping again. This time I hit the motherlode. Neiman's has pair after pair of beautiful shoes. And this time, I lost my mind. I bought the king daddy, creme de le creme, a pair of Manolo Blahnik black wrap sandals. And I even convinced myself for a brief time that I was going to sell them on Ebay and actually make a profit. But somehow, I never got around to it.

But you know, at this point, I'm starting to think that buying a great pair of shoes once or twice a year isn't such a bad thing. I wouldn't go so far as to say that they are an investment, unless you could stretch and say it's an investment in self-esteem, but I no longer feel bad about buying these absurdly priced shoes. And you know what? My balance is getting close to zero again, and I'm starting to think it's about time for a trip to Buckhead again for a little self-esteem, I mean, shoe shopping.

How I became a public servant

2005-08-03T17:01:00.000-04:00

Good question. Was it for the fame? For the money? (ha!) For the thrill of working with criminals on a daily basis? For the cool uniforms? No, in fact, I did it because it's a fun job. Or was at first, anyway. And I get to carry a Glock, wear a badge and arrest people on occasion. Really, not a bad job.

I also work with great people and am constantly amused by the stupid things people do. (i.e-see story below) The story of the guy dropping his drugs on the counter right in front of me is the best story I've heard so far, and in fact made me slightly famous, but there have been other noteworthy anecdotes.

Example, one of my fellow cohorts was arresting one of her offenders, and before the police came to take him away, he burst into tears and begged her to "hold" his marijuana before the police came. "Police? Who do you think you're talking to? I am the police!" Maybe he failed to notice the intimidating gun.

But I digress.

While I was still in college, I interned in the local probation office and had so much fun, I decided that when I graduated, I would make probation my number one career choice. And, after a couple of years, a stint with a private company, and a lift on the state hiring freeze, I found myself in the exciting field of law enforcement. Guns! Handcuffing! Onerous hours in the courtroom waiting to testify! Cute cops in uniform! What more could you ask for?

Visit to Atlanta Botanical Gardens

2005-08-03T16:44:00.000-04:00

Pictures made by my artistically talented daughter

fun at Dragon Con

2005-08-02T19:55:00.000-04:00

Daughter and friend with Austin "Danger" Powers storm trooper. Dragon Con is a science fiction convention that Atlanta hosts every year on Labor Day weekend. People dress up as their favorite science fiction characters and have fun.

my cat, Maggie

2005-08-01T19:59:00.000-04:00

Maggie is a ragdoll cat. She is sweet and very social, and in fact, acts more like a dog sometimes. She follows me around the house.